By Dani Aravich

‍

It’s strange how something can feel like yesterday and a lifetime ago at the same time.

The Milan Paralympics were only a few months ago, but sometimes it feels like I’ve lived an entire different life since then. The Games themselves were a bit of a fever dream... the buildup, the nerves, the racing, the people, the emotions, the constant feeling that every day mattered.

And then, suddenly, it was over.

I came incredibly close to winning a Paralympic medal in the biathlon individual. Close enough that I still replay parts of that race in my head. There was the excitement of knowing I had put myself in a position to fight for a medal, but also the disappointment of knowing how close I was. A few days later, I got sick and missed some races. The whole experience ended up being this strange combination of pride, disappointment, exhaustion, gratitude and unfinished business.

I’m still trying to figure out what to do with all of those feelings.

One of the hardest parts about the end of a Paralympic season is that the rest of the world seems to move on pretty quickly. The Olympic and Paralympic stories fade from the news. Everyone goes back to their normal routines.

But for the athletes, it doesn’t necessarily feel that simple.

‍

There’s a huge emotional buildup to a Paralympic Games. You spend years working toward those two weeks. Your entire schedule, training, travel and life can revolve around getting to that starting line ready. Then suddenly, you’re home, the adrenaline is gone, and you’re supposed to figure out what comes next.

I’ll be honest: I’m not sure I gave myself much time to sit with it.

Instead, I started doing things.

I ran a marathon. I got a new coach. I joined a new club (hi BSF Pro team!). I started building a new training plan. I started looking toward the next season and the next goals.

In some ways, that has been exactly what I needed.

There’s something refreshing about being a beginner again. Running a marathon gave me a completely different challenge to focus on. Joining BSF has meant stepping into a new team environment and getting to know a group of teammates who bring their own experiences, personalities and energy to the sport. Having a new coach has given me new perspectives on training and racing.

It’s been nice to have things in front of me that aren’t the Paralympics.

At the same time, I don’t want to pretend that moving forward means forgetting what happened.

I still talk about skiing constantly. I’m still involved in the sport through my role as a FIS athlete representative. I still think about that biathlon race. I still think about what went well, what didn’t and what I could have done differently.

Maybe that’s part of the process.

I’m also learning that the emotional experience of the Paralympics, and the experience of coming home from them, is different than I expected. There’s a lot of talk about the Olympics and Paralympics as this huge, celebratory moment, and they are. But they are also incredibly intense and very real.

There are moments of joy that are difficult to describe. There are moments of disappointment that can stick with you. And there’s a strange period afterward when you’re trying to understand how something that consumed so much of your life can suddenly become a memory.

I’ve been asking myself whether jumping into the next thing was my way of avoiding some of those emotions, or whether it was simply my way of processing them. I don’t know the answer yet. That’s probably something I’ll keep exploring with my sports psychologist.

For now, I’m trying to give myself permission to do both: to keep moving forward while also acknowledging that I’m still processing what came before.

And there is plenty to look forward to.

This winter brings another season of racing, including FIS Cross-Country World Championships in Finsterau, Germany, followed by the Para Biathlon World Championships in Pokljuka, Slovenia, in February.

Maybe that’s what this transition has taught me most. Not every season needs to be about chasing the biggest possible moment. Sometimes it can be about trying something new, finding a new team, learning from a new coach, running a marathon.

I’m incredibly grateful to be starting this chapter with BSF. Being welcomed by a new group of teammates has made this transition feel a lot less like starting over and a lot more like starting something new.

So, am I completely done processing the Paralympics? Definitely not.

But maybe I don’t need to be.

For now, I’m going to keep skiing, keep asking questions, keep showing up, and see where the next chapter takes me.